I worry a little for Fergus Shanahan’s current mental state. He seems to have completely forgotten who he writes for.
In his column on 22/04/08 he blasts barmaid Cath Coppin after she bedded mockney comedian Russell Brand by sending him a text message simply ordering “Do Me”.
After Brand nips round for a bit of “how’s yer father”, Coppin, in Shanahan’s words, pulls up her knickers, rings an agent and makes a mint flogging her tale.
Shanahan concludes: “It’s not exactly Gone With The Wind, is it?”
No Fergus, but then that has never worried the Sun who have filled their pages with such lurid tales for years. One wonders how thin the Sun would be if there weren’t thousands of entrepreneurs like Ms Coppin prepared to bare all in sleazy kiss and tells.
Shanahan quickly turns his ire on the Government who he says are “not content with spying on your wheelie bins and checking the views from your windows, the Government wants to poke into your sex life”.
He adds: “Its not clear whether you will be asked to list your favourite sexual position but I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Of course, its not the role of the Government to pry into our private lives and make judgements about us based purely on our own sexual quirks.
No, this is the job of the tabloid newspaper and they certainly wouldn’t want anyone stepping onto their patch.
I trust all readers will join me in wishing Mr Shanahan a speedy recovery.
